Well I thought I'd get this down on my blog so that I could remember the great way God worked in this situation.
Why are we homeschooling? Well I really have no gripe with public school. I did fine. I was a pretty shy kid and I got by. I wouldn't say it was the "best of years", but certainly not the worst. I do realize that I did what I could to scrape by. And I was good at it, graduating with a 3.something GPA.
When I started thinking about Belle going to school, I just had huge anxiety over it. Not the actual going to school part. I knew I'd have no problem sending her. It was the simple fact that she'd be one of the youngest in her class and there are differing views on holding a kid back. I was hearing all sorts of advice and had NO idea which way to lean.
So where does homeschooling come in? Well I was on the internet and saw an ad for K12, the online public school option. A lightbulb sort of went off in my head. I thought she could do Kindergarten at her own pace, at home, and even have a teacher to help me. It seemed perfect. And for some reason friends were starting to homeschool and whenever I heard about it, I'd get a pang in my heart. In the back of my mind I came to realize that someday homeschool may be something I'd have to consider. And I thought that God may just be preparing me for that fact down the road. Way down the road I thought. =)
That was probably a year before I started considering it for real. When it just kept creeping up in my mind I decided to talk to some people. I met with a couple friends and got lots of good information. I then met with another gal from church who used a curriculum I was interested in.
Oh the conflict that was raging in me. I had no idea what to do. Why in the world was I even considering this craziness? I had told Nic from day 1 that homeschool was NOT on the table at all.
I spent the next several months praying and crying, praying and crying. I just had no clue and I wanted GOD to smack me upside my head with the answer. Probably about 6 mos before all this started, I'd feel God impress upon me "you are mine" when I prayed. No I didn't audibly hear God, but it just popped in my head from time to time as I prayed.
In the midst of all this inner conflict my friend Ariel gave me a keychain from a conference she had attended. She gave it to me because it had an Isaiah verse on it and she knew I was studying Isaiah at BSF. The verse was Isaiah 43:1
But now, this is what the LORD says—
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE.
Lo and behold we were studying that very chapter at BSF that week. At this point my ears are starting to perk up and I felt like God might be trying to say something to me. (Ya think? =) Another verse that jumped out at me during my BSF studies that week was this verse.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
I think that sealed the deal and I felt like God was telling me that he'd show me the way. He knows I feel horribly inadequate to do this job and completely clueless as to whether or not I can actually teach my children. But somehow He will figure it all out.
Fast forward some more and I'm actually to the point of considering curriculum. I am checking out some older curriculum from the gal at church. Guess what the first memory verse in the curriculum is? Yep, Isaiah 43:1. Freeeeaky. =)
All of this brought back that second verse to my mind. I think God really is leading the blind (me).